Jealous Ones Still Envy [entries|friends|calendar] ..:Amanda:.. [ website | Myspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

its funny how money changes situationss [27 Jul 2005|11:32pm] [ mood | artistic ] [ music | cause were pimpin all over the world ] ok..so this is basically an entry to show u guys who still read this caca..that im alive and well..unfortunately..summer will be coming to an end..too bad it wasnt long enough...damn.. so lately..ive discoverd: Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful, it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident, it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better. hmm..guys are still a work in progress..who knows... i am not the kind of girl who thinks a guy is the answer to everything im just tired of being alone. "Smile for the camera sweetheart.I really wanna immortalize the moment." Just remember the first step in forgeting is destroying all the evidence. With friends like you, who needs subtext? Sub. Text. Sub. Text. This is a .44 caliber love letter straight from my heart. With a gun, make your shot.Let's hope for better :straight from my heart: This is a loss of innocence. sucky guys and faceless friends. It's all wrong, all wrong.Seatbelts off. Let go. and the judging continues..there are really some cruel ppl out in the world..and u wonder y some of them are still alive... I am who I am. Your opinion is neither desired nor required. hmm..thats how i feel..enough..see u on the flip side kids..when?..noo idea..id give it another 3-4 weeks or so..keep it real. 1 //dollars::cha-ching.

you wanna do what?...to my what??...pshhh [10 Jul 2005|11:47am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | let me hold you ] so i know i said i wouldnt update for awhile...hmm..yeah..lj was screaming my name..i had to come to the rescue. this past week has been weird..ppl have changed..but hey..theres nothing u can do about it..i mean u think things will last..and everyone will be associated with everyone forever...yeah..the way things are headed..NOT the case. the left out feeling is...well Its kinda annoying as hell, really. Its kinda like having a rash that never really goes away & once you start seeing it fade out, it returns again...kinda like that. People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed...Only if there is a light from within. soo its weird..max is back in my life..and its awesome..max was my very first best friend in 1st grade..we were attached by every bone in the body..up until 7th grade..when i left palmetto and came to palmer..we didnt speak all those years until this summer..and weve been talking a lot and hanging out..and im just soo happy to have him back in my life..i truly am. "In the end, you always go back to the people that were there from the beginning." so me u know who are done with..i cant say his name..this is the world wide web ppl..apparently..im too high maintenance..yeah sure WHATEVER. so the thing that happend in london..its crazyyy..and super sad. Hell is empty..the devils are here. There are magnificent human beings on this earth, that are walking around posing as humans. I didn't ask for it to be over, but then again, I never asked for it to begin. For that is the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most beautiful days eventually have their sunsets. Everything changes eventually, that's just the way life is and you have no control over it. Like, suddenly, people who you think are always going to be there, they disappear. You know, people die and they move away and they grow up.... well i dunno when ill update again..it could be in the next 5 minutes..tomorrow..next week..hell.next month..either way...stay tuned..much love..comment if u wish. manders 1 //dollars::cha-ching.

let me hold you [03 Jul 2005|11:50pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | girl fight ] rise above the storm, and you will find the s u n s h i n e..... so yeah..im back from NY/NJ...it was awesome..its nice to get away from everything and everyone sometimes..well i must say..im approaching senior year..and its scary and exciting at the same time...ive grown up so much in the past few months.. this might be long..but soo much on my mind... prep.goth.skater.punk.ghetto.whatever you want to call it. Real people. dont need labels. I think we all have dreams, and ambitions.We all wanna be somebody but I don't think we always be who we want to be, or can be. I think everyone starts off on the same track, but not everyone makes it to the finish line. But if you always depend solely on yourself, you'll never be disappointed. ive learned a lot about trust and honesty.. Whatever your endeavors in life, always be honest for the sake of your cause. For the sake of your outcome...for your own karma per say...for ur sake. ive also learned a lot about faith..with my grandma..When it comes to this issue, I literally feel like a wounded soldier.I am hurt...cant really fight to well..maybe even missing an appendage...but I keep on fighting...i have to..for her... Faith is a noun; its a word with a lot of power. Faith is basically.. to sum it up is knowing that things are going to be find in the end with no evidence of it.. as a matter of fact,choosing to elminate negativity, and truly trusting your heart, that in the end..everything will be ok. i sat in my room before i left and just looked back on the past year....I was filtered from the trash that was cluttering my life. I lost friends that did nothing but sit there gathering dust, I rekindled frinedships from my past, & gained a batch of new people that can actually teach me about life instead of just wasting my time so yeah..i still have a lot of growing up to do..but for some reason..i think it will be easy. there..you can go now..im done...i prob wont update for a while..just becausee..soo until next time..keep it real. 4 //dollars::cha-ching.

Back then they didnt want me, now im hott they all know me [22 Jun 2005|10:39pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | cater to you ] If i cant do it, homie it cant be done. its raining here!..which suxx my balls..and to top it off myspace is giving me major attitude.tom..get ur shizah together..and fix things.alright..great i wanna go home..yes..i like traveling..but it sux being away from everyone sometimes...ahh whatever... i broke my diet today and had some ice cream..BAH!..now i have to shake it like a salt shaker to burn those calories off...or i can take the easy way out..SUICIDE? "through ur eyes i see the sunset, and the blue skies"..hmm..really..because when i look into the mirror i just see dark brown eyes...o0 wait..whats that smell??...smells like some bull isshhh........ peace up, A town down.. can u keep up??.. 1 //dollars::cha-ching.

all u ladies leave ur man at home [19 Jun 2005|08:41pm] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | howie day- collide ] amanda..reporting live from NY i hate ppl. and girls are cruel.... gooday childern...u may now return to your regularly scheduled program. 4 //dollars::cha-ching.

screw lambs, i silence them all [14 Jun 2005|07:19pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | touch-omarion ] so its been a while..sorry..but this myspace thing is a d d i c t i n g..forgive me..so these past few days have been ehh..my mom got back! ;D..but the news she brought with her was horrible...my grandma :/..but i was talking to liz about it..and she said its better for her to be in heaven, then to suffer down here.so very true..well i know her time is coming really soon, so when it does, i ll just have to accept it. thanks liz..i love u It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on Earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had. I built a wall. N o t t o b l o c k a n y o n e o u t , b u t t o see w h o l o v e s m e e n o u g h t o c l i m b o v e r i t . Charlie Brown: I think I'm afraid to be happy. Lucy: How can you be afraid to be happy? Charlie Brown: Because whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens. if God is a DJ, life is a dance floor, shall we dance? .well wont be updating for awhile..i leave to NY on friday..guess ill talk to u kids when i get back..take care..and be safe. lima- u turd i wanted to hang out with u before i left...but i guess not..ur behind better be here when i get back..because ur one of the first ppl to see on my list. <33. kristen- ur phone sucks my balls.i love how i was talking to myself for a good 20 minutes.but i still love u. and happy 18th birthday tomas. 7 //dollars::cha-ching.

the opposite of war isnt peace, its creation. [06 Jun 2005|12:29pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | black eyed peas- dont phunk with my heart ] simple. hello kids..how goes it?? sooo..the heat...um..it was very tough watching the last game...my husband wade was injured..its ok sweetheart..o0..and incase you guys didnt notice..we no longer live in dade county..infact..its WADE county :D..hate it or love it the underdog is on top.... took my SAT's on saturday...ran into "the devil"..karina-...we have to kill her!!.MUAHAAHAH :D i love you!..o0..and i spoke to T-time..u gotta love the kid.. get a grip on life, snap back into reality...o0..and notice how were not 5 anymore...were supposed to be maturing..but youre headed in the wrong direction..u might wanna make a U-turn. i go to NY soon..but ill be with my family..meaning it will be suicidal...which means..ill have my cell phone..so u hoes better call.. u know whats funny..i thought you were different from most guys..but man...was i dreaming....so don't explain cause i know exactly what you're going to say, big words,  recycled phrases & the bittersweet taste of other girls on your lips. .and no..im not hungry for your bull shit..so dont feed it to me. So this is strange, our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance where nobody leads at all. lima-..im in love with u too..lmao :D..bwahaha..call me up love..see i would post my number here..but then again..this is the WORLD WIDE WEB!..soo IM me..love ya. kristen..big kiss..youre the best. 6 //dollars::cha-ching.

this is the real me. [31 May 2005|10:36pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | joe- i wanna know ] im starting over. hi im amanda .i am 17 years old. i was born on Jan. 3. i attend palmer trinity school and will be a senior in the upcoming school year. i love music. i love to dance to it, sing to it, and i play it. yes..piano..going on 14 years now. i am a varsity cheerleader as well.i am pretty outgoing. for the most part i enjoy meeting new people. i think you can learn a little bit from everyone. I am sarcastic at times. i like to joke around a lot. i love to travel. I am not a huge fan of this thing we call school, however my favorite subjects are math, biology, and psychology. my mother is my inspiration, and my father and i dont get along, and prob never will. i have accepted that. i am prob the most self concious person you will ever meet. yes. i care. thats my weakness..i care too much.. on my free time, i hang out with my friends, shop, watch lifetime television for women( yes.call me wierd..but i love their movies) lets see..ive pretty much heard and seen my fair share of bullshit. so i know when one is trying to screw me over. i love to have a good time.i dont trust easily. after all..you can only rely on yourself. you came into the world by yourself, and youre leaving by yourself. at times i am picky. when i grow up id like to be a dermatologist(sp?) and hopefully make a difference in the world one day. and so i make mistakes just like everyone. yes..i have my imperfections like you and frankly..i kinda like living this unperfect life. im sick of society trying to turn me into something im not. ive been thinking a lot about this all week. its finally hit me tonight at 10.36 pm May 31 2005. this is who i am. take it, or leave it. so kids..thats me in a nut shell..if you like it..then good..if u dont..then thats unfortunate..because this all i can be. "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you too, can become great."- Mark Twain you dont have to comment....it was just time that i got that out. 6 //dollars::cha-ching.

Im here to cater to you...... [29 May 2005|11:52am] [ mood | sore ] [ music | The Early November- clever ] summer--is love It seems like yesterday we had the world our way. But some say we're heading for destruction. saw the longest yard last night with liz luchy n nadine..funny movie. i got hit on by a lesbian yesterday...yes..it was a little odd..and very disturbing..i dont know whats wierder..getting hit on by a lesbian..or by a bum who carries a sign saying "Ninjas killed my family".hmmmmm.. Go to my room and I close my eyes. I make believe that I have a new life. I don’t believe you when you say, Everything will be wonderful someday. -What you think you know doesn't necessarily have much to do with reality.- ahh...being single is great..but it sux being lonely..i think i want a boyfriend  well lifes a bitch..and im her pimp...nuff said... signing off -manders- 6 //dollars::cha-ching.

its my turn now its over...the games s h u t down [25 May 2005|07:54pm] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | jay Z- im a hustla ] Beauty. Compassion. Inspiration. Tears. Heart Goals. Future. Achievement.Failure. Determination. Dedication I promise you one day I will make you proud. Don’t give up on me just yet. Im still young. 17 and innocent. And I have time to prove to you the wonderful person I can be. I will fly higher than ever. I will face my struggles head on. No more hiding. Its now my time to shine. There is more to me than the eye meets. I will conquer my fears. I can no longer be afraid anymore. This is who I was made to be. So I must deal with it. If in the future, I don’t turn out to be what you’ve always hoped for, I promise you, you will learn to love and appreciate me for me.   Simply because you will have no other choice….one sweet day..ill make you proud   My life in one word- confusion?   Contrary to popular belief, the worst thing is not a broken heart, a lost love, but the worst thing is reaching out just to find no one cares.   I haven’t been myself lately..   I know im not 2 anymore..but I want my mommy ;(..i miss her…just two more weeks   On a brighter note..all bull shit must come to an end right..so that’s exactly y school is o v e r..:D. ladies and gents…i present to you the class of 2006..seniors run this..   So to you..i am not sorry for who I am..but I am sorry that you are turning out to be your worst nightmare…im almost 18..if  for the past 17 and a half years we haven’t been able to have a solid relationship..y try now?   Sorry hoes..this one was a long one…I felt like expressing myself..leave a comment if youd like..   So long..goodbye 6 //dollars::cha-ching.

Love is b l i n d.and it will take over your mind. [22 May 2005|03:37pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | sick of being lonely- field mob ] i have decided i dont want to play school anymore..it sucks the big PENIS..all weekend ive been studying for finals...ahhhhhhhh..suicide?.. friday was our spring football game against lasalle...we lost..kristen joined the cheerleading squad for spring..she was too cute ;D..we the cheerleaders did a good job...but too bad it was hot as balls...we were freakin sweating like it was slip and slide....i know..lovely image...i try..what can i say..moving along... last night--- my cousins graduation party..she graduated from medical school..wow..the ppl they chose to sing at that party..lets just say american idol REJECTS...but seriously..they must have a defect in their vocal chords..it was h o r r i b l e. hmm..congrats columbus graduates..:D...lastly..now a days people arent really living life to the fullest...so i leave u with this : Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your money. Find the good in everything. Fall in love. Be random. Say I love you- mean it!! Sing out loud. Laugh. Cry. Say your sorry. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Dont hold back your feelings. Let someone know what they are missing. Always give more than you take. LISTEN. Spend time with ur friends. Laugh untill your stomach hurts. Enjoy money. Live life and never take one single thing for granted* step in the name of love..............P e a c e 6 //dollars::cha-ching.

Live it Up...Drink it Down... [17 May 2005|09:07pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | unpretty -tlc ] Lets Get Blown.....   Forgive and Forget... Sometimes in life you just have to realize things arent perfect and neither are you. To understand ones flaws and accept them. Is a great accomplishment.I dont want to be anything other than me. To love me is to accept me and my flaws.. Im not perfect.. I am mE! this is as good as it gets. If you dont like it..then skeet skeet i think im ready to disappear hmm..its loud and tasteless..and ive heard it before....moving along..so too bad today ive eaten like a man today!...as i sat in my kitchen..the mouth watering chocolate cake fell from the sky....AND BOOM..landed in my hands..:D..dinner was good..but dessert was better..bwahahaha "i wish i could tie you up in my shoes...make you feel unpretty too..i was told i was beautiful..but what does that mean to you"   kristen---my love..u will meet your knight in shinning armor..promise..see my knight in shinning armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil..ha..yes.nuff said..but thats not the point..i love you toodaloo...keep it real   10 //dollars::cha-ching.

its like were more than friends..but less than lovers [15 May 2005|01:05pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | bob marley- red red wine ] --my grandma is sick.:(..found out friday..so had a sucky night-- yesterday was graduation..congrats seniors...ill miss u guys..but now its my time to s h i n e :D..saw monster-in-law with kristen n liz..goodtimes with the ladies as always <33 i hope everyone who went to CCHS prom had an awesome time..im sure you ladies looked awesome..and tomas im sure u were looking SUPA DUPA FLY.... finally..to you-...you have no idea about who i am, what i`ve been through or what`s going on in my mind. you have no idea about the person i want to be, the people i admire or what i`m thinkin.next you think i`m happy, but inside i`m dying. . you think i`m strong   but my heart is weak. you have no idea about who i am  and sometimes i`m not even sure . but for once just stop analyzing all the faults i have and just give me a chance for me to just to be me..  ladies n gents..thank u for your time..comment if ud like..im out..goodbye 6 //dollars::cha-ching.

Music makes you loose control [10 May 2005|08:10pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | missy elliot- loose control ] making this one simple. being beautiful......my dream is to grow up and be a beautiful human being..all around..not just my appearence..be successful in what i do as well..that way when people are talking about me..they will be able to say "what a beautiful person she is" and mean it.....but then again..its all a d r e a m so my friend texts me today to ask me who the heat play today?..um..since when do i resemble ESPN?...hmm..ask me something else. so some advice for you- Dont criticize what you dont understand. you're going to grow up & move into the real world, & you'll start to see that it's not going to matter how much you care; some people just won't care back... *this is how we do ;D i CAME,.......i SAW,.....i CONQUERED.* moving along this random entry screw what you heard, screw what you know..and go with what you feel..and im feeling..that your annoying the hell out of me so please do me a favor and BE GONE WITH THE WIND :D ok great remember hoes...C is for CRUNK.. thats it for today..till next time....KEEP IT REAL :D 8 //dollars::cha-ching.

Im gonna shine baby..... [07 May 2005|04:59pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | john legend- ordinary people ] yesterday i found out i have a bruised rib :/ kill me now..and today i have killer cramps.....right about now SUICIDE is an option.. best friends??.... who are your best friends? Me?..see i have extraordinary friends... im not talking about a group of people who follow me around telling me "ur soo cool, ur soo pretty, lets hang out" Im talking about 4 or 5 people that i trust with my life. The people who have had my back unconditionally with no need to involve drama or bullshit..People that as time has passed, never left my side. if you think about time tells whos a friend..and whos just fake.I consider myself to be a pretty true friend..But im a true to friend to those who i feel honesty and realness is reciprocated...<333 today just hasnt been the best day..i just found out some things..which REALLY suck..but i guess thats life..welcome to the real world..I have my personal battles, as we all do.But this one in particular...This one seems to be more like a war...fighting & fighting and no one is really winning....it seems like a tango. Two steps fowards. Two steps back. dont feel well..peace out silly hoes..you may now return to your regularly scheduled program. 8 //dollars::cha-ching.

Here we are face to face, with the memories that cant be erased.... [03 May 2005|04:27pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | sugar cult- memory ] things have been super shitty the past two days...but to that person...i love you with all my heart..its very unfortunate what you are doing to yourself..but know that all of us are gonna be waiting for u at the end of this obstacle course..and cheering u on along the way..you cant do this by yourself..and as your friends..well help you..just remember that..   on a lighter note..today the dance team performed in front of the entire school..i was nervous at first..but towards the end of the routine..i got over it....o0 yeah..spring cheerleading starts tomorrow..S U I C I D A L..but good exercise :D   im just ready for summer..i need this break from everything and everyone..a time to truly find myself..and find out what genuinely makes me happy..in addition..i would love meet knew ppl..but ppl who actually care about me..and not in a romantic way..but who truly care for me..and my well being.. *Laughter is timeless Imagination has no age Dreams are forever* just a reminder- best friends is a promise..not a label..so DONT get the two mixed up..because apparently..you have- too bad u dont read lj... <33 amanda   12 //dollars::cha-ching.

o0o0o...i like it like that [01 May 2005|01:41pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | 112- u already know ] its the Weekend------make a girl wanna HATE..make a boy wanna S T A R E  :)..yessuuhhh friday- had a crappy day overall....Thank God for best friends like kris n liz.because they came over..and hung out with me..to cheer me up.. Sat- hm.lets see..the norm with the SAT tutor..aka..death sentence...then didnt do much during the day cept drive my brother and his friends everywhere possible..yes..ive become family taxi..its wonderful...hmm..lets see..talked to tomas..that was awesome..we caught up..um..he def. wins for best dressed for the guys at lourdes prom..because of his SUPA FLY lime green tux..yes..be very jealous..lets see..spent my night with liz and the alex's..the morons got on the turnpike by mistake..lmao..kill yourselves.. today's agenda- foodd :D..bwahah...n i have some japan party to go to later on tonight..but that looks like a negative.i still dont understand y were celebrating a vacation??.. hmm..what else..o yeah..kristen nicole selema...i lovee uu... pimps n hoes..its been real..i must depart....toodaloo  <33 8 //dollars::cha-ching.

Ima Hustla Homiie [27 Apr 2005|09:39pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | eve- love is blind ] ive come to the conclusion that youre a pain in my ass..and i think i wanna shoot you..ok great..the end had to get that out..moving along..after school went with kris to some art exhibit..that ms scalice was preaching to us to go to..which was pretty gay..considering the fact that kris and I only had ONE piece in this little exhibit..not to mention a CRAPPY piece...well mine at least... hmm..at CVS..i was asked by a random lady "have you been baptized?"..and im like yes??...and shes like..o0o...yeah u look like it?..talk about RANDOM..i know..so apparently people who have been baptized have a certain look to them..YEAH SURE WHATEVER..freakin wierdo.. -why do guys get soo mad when u dont want to talk to them??..get over it- for some reason..i dont seem to understand y things change?.. *get back, get back, you dont know me like that*...sick and tired of this world.....so i saw my little cousins today....i THINK i want a family SOMEDAY..pffftt..funny..i know tonight is wed..which means tomorrow is thursday..which means the next day is F R I D A Y..can i get a what what?? gnight hoes... 4 //dollars::cha-ching.

Change Clothes...and Go [25 Apr 2005|07:25pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | asap- T.I ] Man..good conversations always make one feel better.:D..thankss <33 Soleil..i heart u...dont stress...mwah bring it on biatch..i think its funny..realllyy reallyyyy funny...lets get ready to R U M B L E *dance competition was awesome.had a good time..o0..and took first place home...:D..bwahaha..yeah thats right..SWEAT THAT..special thanks to liz n kris for going..<3* jayme..i love uu babe..hope you had a good time <33 soo..i really think im done with boys..throw rocks at them.... can it just be friday already??..GOSHHHH   *hmm..the world is my playgroud..i do as i please...if u dont like it..THATS UNFORTUNATE* me myself and i..thats all i got.. im off..this post was so random..but im bored..so forgive me...come one..come all..peace <333   13 //dollars::cha-ching.

look at me....shiiiittt you aint blind [23 Apr 2005|04:49pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Notorious B.I.G- Juicy ] "You know very well...who you are"   alrighty..so dance competition is tomorrow..wish me luck..im a little nervous...:/...soleil..u must inform me hunny!..im excited..love u way too much... -um..RAY is one of the most touching movies ive ever seen..absolutely AMAZING -you are sooo close to perfect..theres nothing wrong with u..but how come i dont want you??...so frustrating..   *truth and honesty is all i care about. life is about nothing else. beauty consists of nothing else. love cannot be love without respect, and admiration is what we should give to others, especially behind their backs.Think well and speak well no matter what nonsensical thing committed.* hate it or love it the underdog is on top...........   come one, come all..keep it real, peace easy..................... <33 6 //dollars::cha-ching.

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